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For anyone who doesn't have a clue on what is going on. I suggest you read this book.
http://www.nomorehoaxes.com/lists/?p=subscribe&id=5
The author is George Green -
Its absolutely free. I have sent it to friends and family.
There is no shipping or anything- just fill out the form and you will receive it in days.
When you receive it and have read it. If you would like to post your thoughts in my comments section on this post. Please feel free. I love to see people awakened from their sleep.
.Current Mood:  hopeful Current Music: Toyah - Danced |
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RIP Bill Hicks 1961 - 1994
.Current Mood: mellow |
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*On Which I Came*
Go back to where you came
a beast swiveling fine into the lake shore
tented back like what was once before
angels came
a thousand edges too deep
earthlings came knocking in her sleep
tall on earth
tunneling through
channeling through
connected at birth
we came from star dust
in the land fields of time
gathered senses
vacant
electric visions
I send my senses to
petrify you
Listen to the flow of what was called all along
in this tribe flickering through space
refreshing within and elimination of cremated sins
long ago before time
there were faces to be made
and God bodies entwined
I stand before
Celebrate the likens of
Ishtar to create
____________________________
*Dreamscape*
They are trying to assassinate me
on the other side
Pleadians, please help
please tell me why
i was shot and I felt a release
losing all what sleeps
they were chasing me for dreams before
people I have never seen.
Did they finally get to me?
I was on levels.
A strange high
that the few know.
I have got to this level
I have been traveling all along.
Now I walk dead around my living body.
and all is wrong.
.Current Mood:  worried Current Music: Girls against Boys - Crash 17 |
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Two short, free flow poems- I just wrote...
* Pleiadian Quest *
Assault
Telekinetic magnesium
Genetic Powers
Alternate on which you came
Following
Sparkling
Galaxy tears
Magnetic ultra life
Connected at night.
_______________
* She visits - *
Black flowing gown
Silver hair
On the other side...
Door nob fumble
Solid separates as particles
her dimension
She uses her mind
making the door solid as before.
Mind over matter.
I heard her moan 3 times on the phone
In between breakers of light.
We are never alone.
.Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Enon - Paperweights |
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"Listen, real poetry doesn't say anything; it just ticks off the possibilities. Opens all doors. You can walk through anyone that suits you."
- Jim Morrison
.Current Mood:  awake Current Music: The Doors - People Are Strange |
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* Too Little, Too Late *
Witchcraft / Aliencraft
tisk tisk
I know the truth
ancient symbolism
stamping our minds
falling under the blue
I saw so much
in so little
With Black hooded capes - they led me to the unknown
Tinted scales
torn tails
I awoke in this dream
I heard my Indian ancestors scream
The military lizards,
making hybrids
They mix and brew
new faces endower you
when I fall asleep-
It's like going to school
They have taught me
They have showed me
Meetings,
summoning me
Natural powers within -
Natural born, witch hybrid,
like Zoroaster as Jesus
This show that you are watching,
do I have different roles?
I live in different realities
that hide under the veil
that you can not see
I see these different dimensions in my sleep
Am I still the key?
Have they gave up on me?
It is time to leave
drawing down the moon
I can show you my hands fold out like a v
magnet energy
This magic trinity
come down moon.
show me the hours where you are at noon
My heaven is inclined
My thoughts are entwined
I am ready to find
what has gave me this piece of mind.
. Current Mood:  blank Current Music: The Animals |
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November Graveyard
By Sylvia Plath
The scene stands stubborn: skinflint trees
Hoard last year's leaves, won't mourn, wear sackcloth, or turn
To elegiac dryads, and dour grass
Guards the hard-hearted emerald of its grassiness
However the grandiloquent mind may scorn
Such poverty. No dead men's cries
Flower forget-me-nots between the stones
Paving this grave ground. Here's honest rot
To unpick the heart, pare bone
Free of the fictive vein. When one stark skeleton
Bulks real, all saint's tongues fall quiet:
Flies watch no reserrections in the sun.
At the essential landscape stare, stare
Till your eyes foist a vision dazzling on the wind:
Whatever lost ghosts flare
Damned, howling in their shrouds across the moor
Rave on the leash of the starving mind
Which peoples the bare room, the blank, untenanted air.
Current Mood: sad Current Music: Classics IV |
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"The program for this evening
is not new. You have seen
This entertainment thru & thru.
You've seen your birth, your
life & death; you might recall
all of the rest-- (did you
have a good world when you
died?)-- enough to base
a movie on?"
_____________________
Gently they stir
Gently rise
The dead are new-born
awakening
w/ravaged limbs
& wet souls
Gently they sigh
in rapt funeral amazement
Who called these dead to dance?
Was it the young woman
learning to play the “Ghost
Song” on her baby grand
Was it the wilderness children?
Was it the Ghost-God himself,
stuttering, cheering,
chatting blindly?
------I called you up to
anoint the earth.
I called you to announce
sadness falling like
burned skin
I called you to wish
you well, to glory in
self like a new monster
& now I call on you to pray.
Current Mood: gloomy |
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My Grandma, Sarah Witt Massie died October 26th of this year. She was 89 years old. She wanted to make it to her 90th Birthday but did not. Even though it was so close to her Birthday when she passed - 13 days before her Birthday. She would always say - I hope I make it to my Birthday. I was in shock when my grandma was passing. My dad was holding her hand when she passed at her home. He has been a nervous wreck because he had took care of her for years and things are very weird for him not having her around. Everytime I mention grandma he starts to cry. This has been very hard on me. My days have been so strange. Grandma always told me to keep my shoulders back and my head up high and never let anything get me down.
She was a very wise, intelligent, and strong lady. I have always had a great deal of respect for my grandma- she had lived a hard life- she had always worked very hard. She made sure her family was taken care of. She had some neat stories to tell - things she experienced in her life. How hard she worked as a kid and from there on. She was very old fashioned, witty, and funny. She was a great cook. She was a great sewer- she had made some neat clothes / outfits in her life. She was very talented. She was a good piano player and taught me many songs. I always thought her political discussions were neat. She really stayed on top of things and knew what was going on in the world. She loved animals. She was kind hearted and cared. I remember all of our late night conversations we had when I would call her from Chicago. She had always worried about me and I don't want to disappoint her. I need to be strong for her and my dad. This all happened so fast, her death and all. Even though my dad was struggling to keep her alive- he put his whole life in keeping her alive. I know my grandma is watching everything and wanting to help and make things right. When she was passing I felt this electric energy coming off of her and I knew she was already on the other side trying to hold on to her body, my dad felt it too. She was tough to the very end. My grandma was really cool. I wish I could turn back time. I wish I would have spent more time with her. I have learned a lot from her. My grandma wrote this to me in a card, when I was young and going through a rough time - "You are my granddaughter and I'm proud of you, for all you are."
That means so much to me. Happy Birthday Grandma Happy Birthday To You!
I Love you with all my heart. I am always thinking about you. I miss you. I hope you are happy where you are and are free. I need your strength to keep me strong. I love you so much. Thank you for all the fun summers and beautiful years of your love. You will be missed and always remembered for all you have done.
You were a beautiful and special woman.
--and I am proud to have a grandma like you. 
Here is a poem I made for my grandma -
*Stitching Clouds*
Making a family like a quilt
Bright and early
Walking in snow
Farm Land
Rabbit tobacco
sewing the pieces together
to fit what is right
Wisdom and charm
doesn't come as a alarm
Like a rooster in a storm
cornbread and buttermilk
your gown of silk
For all you are
were her words
Your old brewing ideas
and minced years
you were so bright
I didn't want you to go.
I thought you would live to be a hundred.
I want you to rise
above all troubles and closed ends
Find your family make new friends
Your journey has just begun
You have won
Memories of you bathing me as a child
rubbing me down with alcohol
You are my grandma
Love to see you smile
I'm still kicking
is what you would say
I wish you were still kicking today.
I wish I could hold your hand
through the footsteps you walk.
I will miss you.
Grandma there will be no more misery
No more pain
No more chaos
and no more rain.
nothing here will ever be the same.
.Current Mood: sad |
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* Ouroboros *
The Ouroboros and the Tree of Life
Drawing by : M. C. Escher
_______________________________________
* Thus Spoke Zarathustra *
“But the knot of causes in which I am entangled recurs and will create me again. I myself belong to the causes of the eternal recurrence. I come again, with this sun, with this earth, with this eagle, with this serpent—not to a new life or a better life or a similar life: I come back eternally to the same, selfsame life, in what is greatest as in what is smallest, to teach again the eternal recurrence of all things, to speak again the word of the great noon of earth and man, to proclaim the overman again to men. I spoke my word, I break of my word: thus my eternal lot wants it; as a proclaimer I perish.”
Current Mood: chipper Current Music: Julian Cope - Zoroaster |
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Sep. 15th, 2007 @ 04:13 am
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Something Christopher Beerman wrote to me -
Angel Dawn,
you are pure and fine, like a precious stone.
Illumined with the virtues of a world not yet come.
"She is power, this new virtue. She is a ruling thought, and around her a subtle soul, a golden sun , and around it - the serpent of knowledge."
.Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: King Missile - Pickaxe |
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A poem I just wrote 5 minutes ago - free flow....
"Taken"
Fighting
survival
crying
on the shoulder of a phone
Eyes seek...
torn memories
Forgotten life
Sensing your timing
cement floor and walls of faith
No mirrors
No music
suppressed
detained
investigated
listened to
watched
no friends
waiting
patience
drowning
fragments
so out of shape
no perfect lines
off the wall
knocking
carrying
deep into each others dreams
praying
preying
insanity feeds on lost souls
I will be with you baby
till blue turns to green
I will keep you safe
from those nightmares you fear
I will whip my spells into something newer
I will show you my vision a little clearer
My chanting will send waves of serenity on your corner
no more walking bare into the lost
time to devitalize what is tempted most.
Open that door the one in your mind
tend to sour sorrows
and see what you will find
angels are messengers
and demons are friends
do not let your own demons eat where you stand.
Current Mood: crappy |
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At the top of the stairs is a locked room
My secret chamber that no outsider views
For entry is forbidden prohibited
Behind this door is my other self
Not a picture in a frame nor a fresh disguise
But my other self
Immobile inert and sanguine
My narcissus kisses exhale crimson breath
And pump ruby to the lip
I stand before myself not Jekyll nor Hyde
Not sibling nor twin separated at birth
I stand before myself unaccountable
I dreamt that I had feet of clay
I dreamt I crossed the seven seas
And when I woke not knowing
I knew I led the double life
All I ever needed is twice removed
I spit my bile in an airless temper
In this vacuum a vampire reversed
This one who breathes life into me
And even dull mirrors reflect the tarnished twosome
I stand before myself not another me
Not Döppleganger nor witless clone
I stand before myself unrepentant
I dreamt of sin and aftermath
I dreamt of centuries laid bare
And when I woke not knowing
I knew I led the double life
by: Siouxsie Sioux
Current Mood: peaceful Current Music: Siouxsie and the Banshees - Night Shift |
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*Manna Hill*
Lightening struck the computer.
Night, Angel's Dawn
The night Spoke to me
Marduk
I said I need to do it.
I looked at myself
I was not myself
My pupils were shifting squares
I swallowed all pills and ran to the forest.
Delirious, lifeless -
I laid and starred at the lights in the sky -
Hoping they would give me new life
I woke up.
Death is not my time.
In the future light.
What happened to Angel Dawn?
immune
ecstatic
erratic
I can't feel anymore.
They who?
Holographic life.
Magnetic fields.
Radiation to my soul.
Dreaming of the house of the dammed.
My soul keeper - lizard king
He keeps telling me -
"Bask in the warm hot coals."
Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: Siouxsie and the Banshees - Arabian Knights |
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My ferret Boris died on June the 19th 2007 in the afternoon at a vet. He was 7 years old. I first saw Boris in 1999 in a pet store in VA and it was love at first sight. I had to have him. He would do flips and run side ways and hiss - that was his laugh. He would do the happy dance. He was the most adorable little thing I ever seen. He became my best friend. He was my baby. He kept me company. He would always cheer me up. I will miss him licking my face with his little sand paper tongue. I will miss him staring up at me. I will miss him climbing on my bed when I'm trying to sleep and playing under the covers. I will miss his pink nose. I will miss his love. He will always be my little man. I hope his spirit is with me. I hope I get to see his sweet little face on the other side one day. Thank you for all the good times and memories. You will be missed. I love you Boris.
Boris and Rutger Hauer in 2001
I have been so depressed. I have shed so many tears but I know my tears can't bring him back. Nothing could replace him. He was so special. I love him dearly...
Current Mood: sad Current Music: Vast - We Will Meet Again |
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Tis true my form is something odd,
but blaming me is blaming god.
Could I create myself anew,
I would not fail in pleasing you.
Was I so tall, could reach the pole,
or grasp the ocean with a span;
I would be measured by the soul.
The mind's the standard of the man
by: Joseph Carey Merrick
I love you Joseph! You are forever remembered for your beliefs and wisdom.
_____________________________________________________
A free flow poem I made for Joseph.
*Life / PLay*
laid upon a pillow and drifted away fractured hope of forbidden love on a distracted day floated like a kite but got tangled in different frights misjudged and frowned upon but praised below a hidden thorn silenced lad for what he had for oh so good what thought so bad it was all but a dream elephant herd and what it seemed no one could be me creations I made so beautiful they laid For I wanted to lay the way I should have been made
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sweat of the sun has not yet begun for all the pain
my knowledge is the same I will not be the only seeping light blue bright flowing outward twilight flowing inward be there
I will hear smell of ammonia
triangles shrill of the crow
bows
wraps around my soul
Current Mood: blah Current Music: TV On The Radio - Staring At The Sun |
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*Disaster*
the great man with the beard
like my father
with such great wisdom
do you need
do you bleed I saw him laugh holy
Lightening
I hid in the closet
so frightening killing the notions
of what took place it is like a dagger
a plaque of realism dwelling on what I'm telling
selling of what is lost everything cost
behind and with in you my friend will be the end I am beyond anything you would know. Current Mood:  contemplative Current Music: Alan Vega - Saturn Strip |
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*Many Forms Of Life*
Like a Solar eclipse
I look in a lizard's eye
and I see a bird's eye
I look in a bird's eye and I see God's eye -
Zarathustra
Who - who seeks the all seeing eye -
will see the truth
The eye stares through
Life after life
Life after death Abounded
Flood takes on
Washes all Blackness turns to whiteness
No plantation
Beyond good and evil What is a dream is real
What is real is a dream We've been there before
A circle
Shape of the eye Now is time to absorb
and let go I saw the doors of perception cleansed
We do not know where we've been...
Current Mood: peaceful Current Music: Damon Edge - I Found Out Today |
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we are making our time
you will have to climb
to find what has already been found
you will have to work
under the steps of what you did not see
it is turning
while we are enjoying
and while we are destroying
it was not their plan
so lay off of where they stand
you would be no thought
or anything to point out
misjudgment of something you people want to believe to think of ways you are deceived
but you make them for what they want to be
so at least you have a purpose
I can sit back and watch the sheeple run
We are not evil
it's beyond your knowing of any kind of knowledge you could ever perceive
so just let us be
because it is your destiny
 Current Mood: drained Current Music: Adam And The Ants - The Human Beings |
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my unborn child of the first star of light. Just in advent and a matter of time. We have to make these sacrifices.
what a gift of life I was granted
and never forsaken the doubt of tribulation for which I am the sacrifice
He is waiting...Current Mood:  irritated Current Music: Missing Persons - Noticeable One |
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delusional
for a point of hide out
sensitivity has become rage
nowhere to escape the inner mind of others
till its too far to stop
the horror
genetics from my ancestors
made me a witch
my fault is not the option
it is clean like a bird's mind
to find what lies behind
sense and weakening thoughts provide
a drive of surrealism to the point
of no return
to forget
and ooh yes you will burn
finding out the truth
puts me in loop after loop
trapped in space of time
with no mind to find
to bind this grind
and to figure out what is left behind
i need to breath with my arm going numb
i need to talk to people without them helplessly being dumb
 Current Mood: Cracked out Current Music: Sneaker Pimps - Think Harder |
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Snakecharmer
As the gods began one world, and man another,
So the snakccharmer begins a snaky sphere
With moon-eye, mouth-pipe. He pipes. Pipes green. Pipes water.
Pipes water green until green waters waver
With reedy lengths and necks and undulatings.
And as his notes twine green, the green river
Shapes its images around his songs.
He pipes a place to stand on, but no rocks,
No floor: a wave of flickering-grass tongues
Supports his foot. He pipes a world of snakes,
Of sways and coilings, from the snake-rooted bottom
Of his mind. And now nothing but snakes
Is visible. The snake-scales have become
Leaf, become eyelid; snake-bodies, bough, breast
Of tree and human. And he within this snakedom
Rules the writhings which make manifest
His snakehood and his might with pliant tunes
From his thin pipe. Out of this green nest
As out of Eden's navel twist the lines
Of snaky generations: let there be snakes!
And snakes there were, are, will be-till yawns
Consume this piper and he tires of music
And pipes the world back to the simple fabric
Of snake-warp, snake-weft. Pipes the cloth of snakes
To a melting of green water, tiII no snake
Shows its head, and those green waters back to
Water, to green, to nothing like a snake.
Puts up his pipe, and lids his moony eye.
by: Sylvia Plath
 Current Mood: blank Current Music: FischerSpooner |
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Life sucks but anyway...
I will be in NY soon. I am not ignoring anybody - just a lot of shit going on in my life right now. People please have faith in me I am doing the best I can.Current Mood: blah Current Music: The Doors - L'America |
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These were two free flow poems I wrote the other night- Just remember Advent in time- once again my great star Zarathustra reborn
_________________________
"Far Away"
crackling
crack
beautiful ghost of smoke
god of stars
god of night
make everything clear
make everything right
take away your ego
let it all go
feel with in
flow
no, never where you were started
the beginning is where you parted
charts of heavens and hells 7 seas below and 7 planes abound
you would be numb if you became
what I've become
silence is the truth
mind is triggering right
one more click and you are there
where we say?
what man knows?
where do they go?
I can tell you tomorrow.
heathen fools
childish and mild, watch it brew
i cant take much more of this
were we born ?
why am I the key?
you will never see
and they will never leave.
.
Power-
I can turn lightening into sea
i have a different soul living inside of me
what you need is what you'll be
I am Angel Dawn
I came from where you could never belong
If i stay here all is wrongCurrent Mood: indifferent Current Music: The Classics IV - Stormy |
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Your power collects and collects.
A darken sigh. July, 3rd, 1971 |
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*Just waiting to move on*
Silently
waiting
hoping
pondering
With the sea skull
illusions with intrusions
liquid drips down from the mind of war
tell me where are the shores of faith
crinkling
rapturing
guts wrapping
Send me a new cool breeze of hope
Get me back
where is that girl
i got too old for my shell
half of me has drifted to hell
Hey Mr. Morrison man
Please tell me
Show your true scales
sucking and draining the shamans mind.
oh what a god you were to lose.
Break my back into.
Crush me up and send me away.
I am merely a drift of green
decay.
mindless actions.
I am so damned
and betrayed
I know too much already with nothing to prey.
put it there, leave this here, and give that away
all is in me and all is around me
i begin to slit fear
it is becoming
and drowning
drop it
drop your mind
I am sick of all.
No reasons to stake.
Cover me up in cold hard rocks
with brown mush of earth.
say a prayer for my soul
then forget me.
i wasn't even here.
I thought i knew
i don't
and I wont
Over and Over
Around that same track.
Speaking speaking
breathing seeing
There you go
pain
ending
end
for unexplained beginnings.
.Current Mood: melancholy Current Music: Gary Numan - Metal |
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May the truth be revealed.
http://stargods.org/DavidIcke.zip - Watch All!
Get with it. Acknowledge it.
.Current Mood: for so many reasons Current Music: Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Gold Lion |
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*Dreaming I'm Living*
and I'm not going to cry...
alcoholic ways
constant through days
you can't hurt me
I've built a shield
with bitter memories
still with a fractured jaw
i recall all
every single incident
with no sentiment
i rebel as to
not to think
with my heart pulling clots
and the pain calls me
i forget what i am
i thought i was a shoe
no flesh
just rubber
as i stab myself
gaping hole
to look in and see what I've done
i want to jump in and be numb
i sealed it up
with a horrible scar to remind me why
i still try
and define
what i believe
but you still deceive
walking electric robot human of pain
you begin to drive me away
and insane
you are not what you claim
i have been drained
these traps
these test
a circle
of what we create
beating rain on tin
is such a warming friend
turning myself off and into glue
scared of your mentality
running from your reality
no more is what I'm looking for
say good bye soon
blossom blooms into tombs
letting go
while hanging on
_Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Model / Actress - The Nodder |
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*Becoming Like The*
Close my eyes and gaze into the extraterrestrial eyes.
No, these are not lies.
Yes, they are spies.
They put it behind my left eye.
Feel the implant.
Pain first then immune.
They put it behind my right knee.
Yucca Valley
Deep underground
Weary and eery
Dripping tunnels.
Upside down U shape.
Familiar faces
Telepathically
Beware LA
Disaster strikes again.
For their purpose.
Pulling me through the spinning energy.
Paralyzed.
You are so animal like cute without your black eye shields.
Thank you for choosing me.
Great creators.
I love you and understand your plan.
 Current Mood:  anxious Current Music: Six Finger Satellite - Hans Pocket Watch |
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*Morning buzzes*
Morning buzzes
Hovering around
Blue balloon in boots
Praises while she phrases
A night to grow old
Turning
Ticking
Burning
Kicking
Oh How I love
The One
There is only One
One is one
Front, back
Side for side
Leaning learning
Love to ride
I took a page from the owner's cage.
While ripping my hair
and screaming in rage
Cool comfort turns ripe
Begins to suffer
Under over under
Liar's layers
Oh boy what a matching catch
Stinging pride of a gleaming prude
Out of order
Calling loud
See all of the mayhem I've perceived.
Teach me for I have found
Lead me for I have gave
Search me for a new sight
The pressure is getting harder
The answers are coming faster
Try not to go
Falling asleep
Upside down crooked and crossed
On the bed stones of moss
All is forgiven and all is taken.
Do you know what we are escaping?
Traveler heathen of broken love.
You are dripping sweet medicine.
Each drop a piece of mind.Current Mood: blah Current Music: Damon Edge - Trip The Switch |
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James Douglas Morrison
1943-1971
A true God.
Poetry by Jim Morrison -
____________________________
What are you doing here?
What do you want?
Is it music?
We can play music.
But you want more.
You want something & someone new.
Am I right?
Of course I am.
I know what you want.
You want ecstasy
Desire & dreams.
Things not exactly what they seem.
I lead you this way, he pulls that way.
I'm not singing to an imaginary girl.
I'm talking to you, my self.
Let's recreate the world.
The palace of conception is burning.
Look. See it burn.
Bask in the warm hot coals.
You're too young to be old
You don't need to be told
You want to see things as they are.
You know exactly what I do
Everything
_________________________________
Power
I can make the earth stop in
it's tracks. I made the
blue cars go away.
I can make myself invisible or small.
I can become gigantic & reach the
farthest things. I can change
the course of nature.
I can place myself anywhere in
space or time.
I can summon the dead.
I can perceive events on other worlds,
in my deepest inner mind,
& in the minds of others.
I can
I am
____________________
event in a room
event in space
a circle
Magic rite
To call up the godhead
spirits, demons
The shaman calls
____________________________
Like our ancestors
The Indians
We share a fear of sex
excessive lamentation for the dead
& an abiding interest in dreams & visions
__________________________________________
Some wild fires
Searchout
a dry quiet kiss on leaving
_________________________________
I received an Aztec wall
of vision
& dissolved my room in
sweet derision
Closed my eyes, prepared to go
A gentle wind inform'd me so
And bathed my skin in ether glow
_______________________________________
THE CONNECTORS
-What is connection?
-When 2 motions, thought
to be infinite & mutually
exclusive, meet in a
moment.
-Of Time?
-Yes.
-Time does not exist.
There is no time.
-Time is a straight plantation.
_______________________________________
Those who Race toward Death
Those who wait
Those who worry
______________________________
Fence my sacred fire
I want. To be simple, black & clean
A dim nothingness
Please
The sea is green
Smoke
like the child's version of a
Christmas dream
w/ no
waking.
_____________________________
I love you Jim. Happy Birthday!Current Mood: awake Current Music: The Doors - You're Lost Little Girl |
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)Goodnight To Angel's Dawn(
Beauty among others to find in the ways of god.
Silence is the sand of one's holy land.
Tree tops that reach the light of this starry night.
Bridges to burn and pages to turn.
Always ready for a fight.
Always have the need for the right.
Too far to gleam at your smile.
Cities wait for a new born child.
Finding ways to reach a new cloud.
Its never too late to run.
I'm almost done.
Every taker will fail to the makers.
Far too long - you'll be singing my song
and all is wrong.
We shall rise
above all seas
and the ground will numb our feet
Reaching deep in your soil.
We shall plant the night.
Startling fears take flight.
The triangles of your energy drive fast.
Always depending, hoping to last.
Separating while hesitating.
Such a gasp.
Time is moving into the past.
I can't see in your desperate fear.
You should see what you appear.
You accepted me as your god.
As I write through you.
While shining through you
and move through you.
Distractions.
Attractions.
Waking up just when you've had enough.
Paralyzing shatters your death.
For realizing.
He did it to you.
You let him through.
Now he can get into you.
Its almost time to find
what you lost with your mind.
Isn't it fun to ride
on the vibrations you put inside.
Earthquakes while cracking up my shrines.
A deadline marked on the calender of serenity.
Forever in unknown eternity.
Its only time for the chosen ones
and soon it will all be done.
Take me back to what was the same.
Give me new lights with only one name.
Take in foreshadow.
While living for pain.
Teach me wisdom of the dark who knows my game.
Give me murders of the intentions that live in flames.
Black and white movies of the transllusional mind.
Lets begin for an end to find.
Come on little girl its only the end of the world.
Nothing can phase you.
Move you.
Change you.
You do what you do.
We are breaking through..
Come along come along and meet my friends.
Take my hand.
Open up break through.
Let go fall to new.
What shall make you break in the nonsense you live an take?
Beating on the life of each breath.
Lips of zira.
Capes of fire.
Dreams for life I've lived of sex with desire.
Tasting the samples of the decisions i once made.
Orgasms on the sheets of the memory that fades.
Feeling an outburst and crying in his pain.
Knowing what you lost you can never regain.
Goodnight to the feelings I forsake.
Its all what I take in to create.
Coming outside and going in.
The reverse for the beginnings of my sin.
Thick red cover to smother in.
Goodnight to the awakening dawn that was my friend.Current Mood: blank Current Music: Kennedy - Utilitarian Cafeteria |
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Escaping what I build
Explain my life to me.
So gifted for thanking.
It's all what you want to believe
in your mind.
Fleeting.
Clogged with numbness.
Blinking eyes for a ride
and I abuse myself
over and over.
To make some point.
Relapse into realization.
Hits.
Hurts.
One way to another.
Burning.
Pain to feel physical
where there is no mental.
It could be so simple.
Wasting for relief.
Vining with no changing.
Spinning to realism.
Trying for a new life.
Living inside what I build.
Pretending to convince myself.
This is what it is.
Yes.
No saying no to it.
Catch up.
Suck up
and swallow.
Erasing while escaping.
Killing my heart slowly.
To dwell...
Waiting for another hell.
Stop caring.
Start fading
and hating what I am
Disbelieving in so many ways.
My brain is wasteful with a constant haze.
Sleeping into a maze.
Unsure about myself and others around me.
Never surround myself.
Such jealousy I see for me
without knowing what its for.
Nights fall on top of nights.
Never knowing what is right.
Falling back after I let go.
Thinking nothing matters will scare you when it does.
So deep in my brain that I begin to think backwards.
Never knowing where I'm stepping.
Make it hurt
till it explodes.
Time to stop breathing.
Then karma changes
and my life is taken.
Onto another force of what I should become.Current Mood: crappy Current Music: Goldfrapp - Time Out From The World |
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Two free flow poems
__________________
*Warping Sights*
Spirits
Can I help you?
You come around
and strong at night.
left side will go numb
left ear clogged
I always know...
You turn both of my screens white.
electrical
currents
It is comfort and it is nice.
frightening terror- you throw me across the room!
two witnesses
saw what you do.
what is it you want from me?
entering my dreams
it will take years after my death to reach your plane.
rumbling vibrations
shrilling frustrations
I was always so devoted...
I want myself back.
Thank you but no thank you.
sick of feeling your warmth.
sometimes I want to just be.
so you spirit have no respect?
I know you are reading
right behind me.
no more no more
i want to be saved...
why the ash?
why the points?
gasping for air.
is it that bad?
I am sorry.
your energy is too much.
Let me breath.
on the roof watching another- in and out the elevator
as if he is trapped
earthbound and still around.
but you come from 34 million stars away.
if my heart shall fail
I know I am the hammer and death is the nail.
You gave me these senses
messages
crashes
golden orbs, silver orbs
shadows grow taller
roaring
acute to my soul?
creeping
morphine spirit
stop shooting me up
I still don't understand...
I didn't know you were into shamans and voodoo
you are suffering.
there is a thin line between good and evil
but what lies in the middle?
if this line was on a mirror
could you see both sides?
the more you know the harder it gets
the more pointless
you're not making the puzzle any easier.
i was born at 12:05am
awaken and enlightened at night
so are they...
pass on to another one
i am done.
whisky and beer
with tears
broken glass
hearing you breaking through
awakening thrash
what is going on
around me
my jaw
my neck
your pressure.
it was once fascinating
now it is desecrating
drift subconscious
you looked like a shooting star
whoever you are..
*Test*
People, I am not a witch.
I am a Native American.
Cherokee with a appearing black foot father
my ancestors
my soul
some stay and some go
Indians
glowing chariots
in the sky
statues of aliens
the truth
blood for lies
appearing
disappearing
power lifting, healing
the first people to be put forth to this test
the very first people to exist
living with spirits
a peaceful balance
corn and dances
we are watching you
the bible
aliens guide
for belief
and strive
sad to say weak people
will not survive
colorful lights
amber with fire
leads
speaks as god
lets pray to the sky
to the creatures
that are teachers
As the dinosaurs
we are a dying test
a mingling monkey
accept
accept and you will know
Egyptians
energy battery pyramid
star children
light years
meditation is prayer
Jesus a inbred
man with alien god
lord Shiva, Ganesha
as well
just another guide
truth
will become fear
arrows
who is going to save now?
2012
codes
each a number
everything
numbered
the global warming
this universe
mind isn't big enough to fit this
our spirit is
blue moon - a planet with flying whales,
gigantic insects
creatures upon creatures
war only exist here
in our history
importance
doesn't exist here
we are the evil.Current Mood: mellow Current Music: Chrome - Static Gravity |
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*Collapse*
blue
how do you do?
i said it once or two
I realized just when
I knew there was fate for a new end
two lies I saw once again
A heartfelt friend
Seeing life as a trashcan
is this a trend????
beauty is a wonder
to start
and to live
the key is to forgive....
I say too many things to try
although soon I will die
There will always be more room to blend.
delete or send
we will always depend
on drugs
silly way to mend
the broken heart of sin
and forever
you will know....
There is no end.
___________________________
*James Douglas Morrison*
lucent : Jim
clairvoyant : I am
seclusive : a hidden soul
I found you and you found me
now we are one
One soul
as if I died in your arms to relive your death
I sold it to you
An American poet
lizard sea
anchors in hearts
and now we are both free...
running in another land
to watch a burning man
to save and protect
new words of love
turn evil
to make a balance
crazy is a sign
to dine of it all
and entwine
watch us shine....
earth as a shoe shine
and watch us combine....
Save the Indians. Save the Indians!!!
There is a point to be made...
and we trade and trade.Current Mood: awake Current Music: The Birthday Party - Scatterbrain |
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*Energy on fire*
Wait a second did I dream that?
Alone again.
Drained...
Careless in all worlds
Mumbling off to the deep conscience
In the steam with much dryness
Screaming it out
Something broke
Yeah somethings missing
Could I really be dead?
and what is death?
Rubbery feeling to touch things
Blocked at every wall
Energy on fire
To never rest
A journey that grows ahead of you
Great truths
Together is a lie
I fell on top
but rolled off
Into a dump
Keep rolling in the non stop pool of reality
A new color of extreme emotions
Refreshes
With time
and regret
I collect the stars
To toss away
In a safer place for an unknown realism
What is sick?
Morals to doubt and fuck?
I could keep going.
Or I could stop.
Pull her out of the street before she gets hit again!!!
Too sore to move
Disappear into my lows to be high
That ringing
Smothered with fear
Unknown thoughts are on their way
Calling for a closer view
There is no feeling but the mind
I sit in salt to protect
I make you up to reject
A future for cloned souls
Comfort is a lie as well
The pain is truth.
Keep lying to yourself till the death of your body
Moments can be wonderful memories
Faking time
We fleas are killing the earth
Killing every living thing to make this place a machine.
A test from the intelligent life
Its hard to breath in a lie
The air may look clear.
Hey! look there's a trap! lets go fall in it!
Wow! I feel so secure in this trap.
I have lost myself.
You lose all control in your sleep.
The dreams fade to become memories.
Karma in your favor
Karma to destroy you.
You will have to understand your test
They only get you though to the no mind....
Stop your thoughts.
Shut down to fly.Current Mood:  artistic Current Music: Goldfrapp - Forever |
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*Luga Dreams*
Again I forgot what I was going to say
Strange dreams of burgundy and blue
Luga?
I don't remember all the words for what I was dreaming.
I am not sure where I am going.
I think I am just repeating the future.
It was that feeling.
Feeling for the most deepest mood.
I could just die.
Drop dead right here , right now.
I hurt a lot of people.
They don't understand the natural way of living on different planes that shift without moving.
I just died a couple of years ago.
You may see me, breath me, but I am not here.
I was paralyzed on my bed at 15 when I was abducted.
Things I have seen were only what I was to relive.
You may call me strange and unreal.
I have yet to conquer all that I know and receive.
A long metal rod sucked my soul away.
I tried to be human after all, but I have failed.
I have failed to realize how stupidly ruins your life.
This is all important, and I have wasted it.
This life that we live, every moment counts.
Waste, waste, waste is what this earth is now, is what we are, and what we do.
Sighs of pain.
Confusion of reality.
__________________________________________________________________
8+8
A beautiful fruit fell off a tree and into my hands.
Shall I freeze it for another day?
I can not take this anymore.
Just pause it for a second.
It just won't stop playing.
Goddamn my nerves!
I didn't suppose to feel.
I cut that off in 2003.
Why are you doing this to me?
and I didn't believe in angels,
and I thought angels were free,
free to fly.
Is this some kind of religion?
Should I pray to you?
I think it is too late for eights.
Lets just subtract what we know now.
Lets not take this test.
So my heart can rest.Current Mood: frustrated Current Music: Elvis Costello - I Want You |
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* neon flavor *
I want to find you
in a crisp cool mood.
Escape into your arms.
Play every part.
Feeling what I deserve.
Living and dying in the most beautiful way.
You are a memory and a dream wrapped into my illusions of what I have become.
Must find a way to grab you and pull you again.
You run run run and I am done.
You have won.
I have experienced the experienced.
No complaints and no worries.
Just hope...
____________________
* my beautiful now *
This box this box the box that i wait in.
the nonsense that i drown in.
beauty wasted deserted as I lie.
Laying on my life will weigh it down.
The phone calls, the emails and people's spells.
I will never get well...
not in this hell.
Isn't it amazing what we choose?
Isn't it amazing what we loose ?
To write about love is to realize love is evil and to acknowledge that we create our evil.
I for one will not stand in the shadow of doubt and grace.
I will stand up for what I know and get back my taste.
The future is getting old and the story is getting worse.
Please don't come in on my blissful now.
Let this now last for one more thought.
Cracking joints and small bones - no more realization.
Sweet thoughts and aching reality - there is no more room for fools.Current Mood: mellow Current Music: The Police - Spirits In The Material World |
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 More News :  
Current Mood: calm Current Music: Tears For Fears - The Devil |
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News
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Sep. 17th, 2004 @ 07:24 am
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Not really new news but its news... My hair is blonde now -
I don't know if I like it - I don't want people looking at me as a blonde bimbo so I might get a mullet- a sexy mullet like in the new wave 80's. I'm still with my boyfriend - going on 5 years. We are both getting older and nothing makes sense anymore. Nothing is clear in my life at all- and I'm sure smoking weed 24/7 doesn't help my decisions much either but what the hell - who needs a brain? If only I could hold on to the good memories and forget the bad memories instead its the opposite. My mind is overloaded with crap- I need to clean my hard drives off and start new. I haven't done any photoshoots with my hair blonde - I will soon though. I am out in the "Guitar World magazine" November issue right now and I am also in the "2005 Guitar Buyers guide" - The ads are for "Dean Guitars" I have red hair in the ads. Thats about it for now... I need to get my shit together and start doing something. God I waste too much time... Now I must go sleepy sleep zzzz zz z z
Here is a linky link with me on it... <3 <3 http://deanguitars.com/angel
Current Mood: blah Current Music: Scratch Acid - She Said |
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I can feel someone walking up the stairs of my mind.
The repeating of the same steps I live over and over.
Freeze and burn, live and die.
Nonexistence, never born or touched.
Free in this blackness.
I keep hitting the ground without breaking one bone.
Live in happiness while you live in sin, live in misery while you live for god.
Such test among us, such lies.
Look back there in the flooding of your thoughts.
I'm drowning in the misunderstandings of now.
I will waste all... My youth, beauty, and my purity. I will waste it on sweet but sour you.
Go talk to a tree. The earth will tell you what I see.
Take this gift of life.
Arise from the roots that you know.
Find yourself in the grass and sky.
Trust no one- not even yourself.
Do not make yourself believe your lies.
Listen closely and you can hear the animals suffering and the countries fighting.
Ohhh the slave that hammers the nail in my heart.
Fools running around like ants, at least ants know where they're going.
Let me taste the sweat of your hardworking thoughts and then I can die with all of my teeth.
Let me know when you are ready to seek the truth and then I can lie down in the gore of my childhood.
Don't whisper so loud- I may be able to hear you.
This is what it is, and you will only be denying your internal soul.
So rest in peace and live in beautiful chaos.
This bed of rotten dreams can awake you for your death.Current Mood:  sleepy Current Music: Hooverphonic - 2wicky |
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